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310 pages, ebook
First published March 25, 2020
It’s not like I come in here every night. That would be lame. I just think about coming here every night. I think about Kat.
This isn’t me.
It’s not good.
It’s not cool.
But hey, I’ve filled three notebooks with lyrics that vary from shitty to decent and recorded a dozen demos of songs that are basically about having a non-stop boner, so there’s that.
I have absolutely no claim to him, but I still want to come to his shows wearing a T-shirt with his face on it that says I licked him—he’s mine!
I’m almost there now, are you ready?
Because I’m almost ready for you.
I’m a goner. I don’t know what ‘us’ means, and I don’t know if she wants me to be a part of her and her son’s world, and I barely even know what that world is like, but I want in.
“I’m not exactly the same guy that I was before that first night I met you. I’m not the guy that I want to be for you yet either. All I can say is that I want the chance to become that guy for you. But I don’t know how to show you that if I can’t kiss you or touch you or do all the things that I want to do to you or say all the things that I want to say to you. So what do I do? Huh?”
He’s like an angsty teenage boy and all of my defenses, every part of me is melting. He rests his forehead against mine. I hold his head in my hands. His hands are in my hair. All I want to do is kiss him.
“I don’t want you to not be you, Nico. You’re amazing. I love being with you.”
“Then just fucking be with me.”
"Passerò il resto della notte e della mia vita cercando di spiegare a Kat, cosa significa finalmente sentirmi dire queste parole. Da questa donna. Questa donna che non è solo la donna al capolinea, alla fine della strada: è l’inizio di tutto ciò che conta davvero."
"Ho sempre pensato che la gente si innamori degli spazi tra le note di una canzone. Quando, nel bridge di una canzone, senti il martellare della batteria seguito da una breve pausa, ti prepari a quello che sta per accadere: sai che ti farà esplodere la mente o che ti spezzerà il cuore, o forse entrambe le cose."
"Nico mi ha detto che presto andrà in tour. Ma è la vita di un musicista, ed è proprio per questo che non posso lasciarmi coinvolgere da lui. Non voglio essere la ragazza che lo aspetta alla fine della strada, al capolinea."
"Nico Todd. Chissà. Forse, dopotutto, non è un guaio. Forse è la risposta alle nostre preghiere."