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Part 6
While I was in that state of spiritual confusion, I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to, so I made dua to Allah, asking for help, because I felt that only Allah would understand, but it didn’t work. I tried reading many passages of the Quran that have been said to protect Muslims from evil, particularly Quran 2:255, known as Ayatul Kursi. Ayatul Kursi was a verse that came to mind because it is supposed to be the most powerful verse of the Quran. In the Mosque that I went to at the time, my Maulana emphasised that Ayatul Kursi is very important and powerful because it protects Muslims from the Devil. I listened to very beautiful recitations of Ayatul Kursi on YouTube because I had exposed myself to extremely blasphemous anti-Islamic content that tried to propagate the narrative that Muhammad was demonically influenced and inspired. Such content was a serious attack on my faith and upset me hugely, and I sought Allah’s guidance and protection by listening to Ayatul Kursi so that my mind would not be corrupted. But even that didn’t work, and it was devastating. I felt so wounded in spirit that even listening to recitations of Ayatul Kursi and reading Ayatul Kursi myself, did nothing to bring me closer to Islam and help me remain Muslim.
So I panicked inwardly, which led me to considering the notion of becoming a Christian. I had thoughts about becoming a Christian, but I didn’t immediately become a Christian because it just didn’t sit right with me. These thoughts felt unacceptable because they went against everything I had believed in as I had still retained my belief in Islam, so these thoughts remained as mere thoughts that stayed at the back of my mind for a few days. I just didn’t act on them because I knew very little about Christianity. Most of what I knew about Christianity was stuff that I heard from other Muslims, which is another reason why I didn’t act on these thoughts. I also felt like I shouldn’t blindly believe whatever I read and hear from the internet. At the time, they just seemed like meaningless conspiracies and propoganda from Christians on the internet, and I didn’t trust the internet, so I just dismissed all the invitations to Gospel and all the negative things I had heard about Islam, thinking that I was being tricked and deceived by Christian missionaries.
My thoughts about becoming a Christian remained somewhere at the back of my mind, but didn’t come to fruition because they went against everything I believed in for as long as I could remember, and I decided to not take whatever I had read and heard online seriously. So I buried these thoughts and tried to forget about all the negative things I had read and heard about Islam on the internet, thinking that I should just move on. I stubbornly continued being a Muslim and continued my daily Iife as a Muslim as usual. I still retained anti-Shia sentiments, but I decided to put them at the side and focus on becoming a better Muslim by reading the Quran and praying Namaz more. However, a few days later, something very interesting happened…
While I was going out with a friend in my hometown, we came across two women handing out leaflets. One of them handed a leaflet to us, we decided to accept the leaflet instead of rejecting it because we both thought it would’ve been rude to bluntly say no in front of her, and we planned on throwing it away later on. But then I noticed something about the leaflet that caught my interest; it was a leaflet that had information about Jesus Christ and sins, and I decided to take the leaflet instead of having my friend taking it because he was a Muslim and I knew he would’ve thrown it away later, so I told my friend that I would take care of throwing it away later, but I actually planned on taking it home with me to read because everything just seemed very bizarre and odd to me. It was very convenient that we were being offered leaflets about the Gospel while I was in a state of spiritual confusion because that normally doesn’t happen to me when I am outdoors. The timing was very opportune.
SoI took the leaflet home and read it. It talked about how human beings commit crimes and run away from the police for breaking the law and manage to hide from the police sometimes. But it also talked about how human beings commit sin and try to run away their sins, saying that they might be able to hide from the law, but they can’t hide from Jesus because they can’t hide their sins from Jesus, and that the only one who had the power to forgive all sin was Jesus Christ. The leaflet also said that to be forgiven, we would have to confess our sins to Jesus and acknowledge him as our Lord and Saviour who died by crucifixion for our sins and rose from the dead.
I was still in that state of spiritual confusion even after reading it because I just couldn’t believe what I had read. It went against everything I believed in and I stubbornly refused to believe what the Bible taught about Jesus. I couldn’t help but resist the idea of becoming a Christian.
But after thinking more and more about it, I eventually realised that being offered that leaflet and reading what the leaflet said while I was in that state of spiritual confusion, was no mere coincidence. It was a sign that wanted to lead me somewhere. I received so many invitations to the Gospel online, but kept rejecting and hand waving them under the assumption that I was being tricked by Christian missionaries and that it was just nonsensical propaganda and conspiracies from the internet. But after handwaving all those invitations, I get an invitation to Gospel in my normal everyday life, which never happens. What caught my eye wasn’t just the fact that I was offered the leaflet at such an opportune time in my life, but the fact that the leaflet basically talked about how we can try running away from Jesus, but ultimately can’t hide from him, and that we should repent to Jesus and accept him what who he is and what he has done for us in order to be saved and forgiven.
This is exactly what I was doing in these past few weeks. I was running away from Jesus by rejecting and hand waving invitations to the Gospel online, and then I got an invitation to Gospel in real life after rejecting and hand waving the invitations online. So I spent the next few days processing and absorbing everything that had happened to me in these past few months, and reconsidered my thoughts of becoming a Christian because things began to make more sense to me. All the hardness that I felt in my heart towards the idea of becoming a Christian, as well as Christians who were insulting Islam, began to melt away.
I once again checked out those videos and articles about Islam being a false Religion and also did research on how to convert to Christianity, but this time I took them more seriously because everything started making more sense to me when I reconsidered them rather than dismissing them as crazy blasphemous propaganda and conspiracies. And finally… I finally renounced Islam and accepted Christianity by acknowledging Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour and confessed my sins to him. I accepted Jesus as the Son of God who came into this world to die by crucifixion for our sins and rise bodily from the dead on the third day, and I rebuked Satan in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
My journey of being a Muslim ended, and so began my journey of being a Christian, a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. My journey that started in May ended in August of 2017, and I honestly feel that it’s one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made. It was a very gradual journey because I wasn’t easy to convince, and I am much happier as a Christian than I was as a Muslim.
Islam is not a Religion of peace, it’s a Religion of world domination. It is supremacist and totalitarian at its core.
The Sunni and Shia split in of itself is proof that Islam is not a Religion of peace when you think about it more critically because not too long after Muhammad died, the first generation of Muslims were already divided over who should be Muhammad’s successor. The Sunnis were a group of Muslims wanted Abu Bakr (Muhammad’s best friend and father in law, to be Muhammad’s successor) to be Muhammad’s successor. The Shia were a different group of Muslims that wanted Ali (Muhammad’s cousin and son in law) to be Muhammad’s successor. Tensions grew between these two groups of Muslims because they couldn’t agree on who should be Muhammad’s successor, and there was already some animosity between some the Sunnis and Shias prior to Muhammad’s death. For example, the Shia accused Aisha and Hafsa of poisoning Muhammad. Because of these tensions, the Sunnis and Shias had a civil war, waging Jihad against each other.
Bear in mind that these were people who knew Muhammad. These were people who walked with Muhammad, talked with Muhammad, lived with Muhammad, assisted Muhammad in his trials and wars with the kuffar, but when Muhammad dies, those same Muslims are already going at each other’s throats. Interestingly enough, when Muhammad was asked by his companions who the best people are, Muhammad’s answer was that the best people are the first 3 generations of Muslims:
“Narrated Abdullah: The Prophet (ﷺ) was asked, “Who are the best people?” He replied: The people of my generation, and then those who will follow (come after) them, and then those who will come after the later; after that there will come some people whose witness will precede their oaths and their oaths will go ahead of their witness.” Ibrahim (a sub-narrator) said, “When we were young, our elder friends used to prohibit us from taking oaths by saying, ‘I bear witness swearing by Allah, or by Allah’s Covenant.” — Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 6658.
“Aisha reported that a person asked Allah’s Apostle (ﷺ) as to who amongst the people were the best. He said: Of the generation to which I belong, then of the second generation (generation adjacent to my generation), then of the third generation (generation adjacent to the second generation).” — Sahih Muslim Hadith 2536.
Keep in mind that this includes the Sunni and Shias that waged Jihad against each other. Granted, Sunni Muslims could try arguing that Muhammad’s answer only applies to the Sunni Muslims of the first 3 generations because these Hadiths are in Sunni Hadith collections. However, a Shia Muslim apologist could also argue that Muhammad’s answer actually applies to the Shia Muslims of the first 3 generations. I am personally neutral on this because I think both views are biased and tribalistic. Tribalism creates hatred, and I was going down a path of hatred for Shias in my last month of being a Muslim, but thankfully I didn’t go too far.
I no longer practise the 5 pillars of Islam, and I no longer believe in Muhammad as a Prophet of God. I don’t believe in that anymore because the spirit of the Antichrist that kept me as a slave to Islam for as long as I could remember, had been removed from my soul. Now I have faith in Jesus Christ by accepting him for who he truly is and what he’s done, as well as repenting to him daily. Every day, or at least almost every day, I thank Christ for what he’s done for us and I personally thank Christ for guiding me. I talk to him as much as I can, provided that I remember.
As I mentioned earlier, before leaving Islam, I made dua to Allah, seeking his guidance and wisdom, asking to learn what Islam really was, and that prayer was answered, but it wasn’t answered by Allah, the God of Islam. It was answered by God, and when I say God, I am referring to the God of Christianity. God accepted my prayer by revealing the truth about Islam in my journey of learning more about Islam. Allah didn’t accept it of course because he is a false God. Allah is just a counterfeit God. Satan does not want me to learn the truth. He wants me to go to Hell. Satan is a fallen Angel who depicts himself as an Angel of Light, and false Prophets are ravenous wolves in sheep’s clothing. The Islamic version of Satan that Muslims refer to as “Shaytan” and “Iblis” is nothing more than a counterfeit to confuse people. Satan is the father of lies, meaning that he is the best liar. The best liar isn’t the one who lies all the time, but the one who acknowledges some truth, but distorts it by mixing it with falsehood. Islam is the perfect tool for this because it’s not 100% false, but it’s also not 100% true. It has elements of truth, but it has elements of falsehood. It has a counterfeit God, a counterfeit Jesus and a counterfeit Satan.
Of course, there are a lot more problems that I have with Islam, but I haven’t mentioned them in my testimony because these problems didn’t cause me to leave Islam, but are reflections that I made after leaving Islam because my mind was essentially reprogrammed after leaving Islam for Christianity. I am no longer blinded by the cognitive dissonance and predetermined conclusion that Islam is perfect.
I lived my entire life as a Muslim, but that ended in early August 2017. I am secretly an ex-Muslim who converted to Christianity, but I have several friends who know that know about this. I publicly put on the facade that I am a Muslim, but I only practise Islam by exterior, I don’t recite any Islamic prayers inwardly. My Islamic faith has since been an act that I put on to keep myself safe. Lots of people in their testimonies share their stories of what happened after they became a Christian, I will not go any further than what I’ve already shared because this is just my story of the how I left Islam and what my final few months of being a Muslim was like. I was born and raised as a Muslim, but now I am a Christian by choice, and I am very thankful and grateful for that. I could share my stories of what happened to me after I converted to Christianity, but I will save those stories for another time.
Walter Sieruk says
Before going how Islam is in terrible conflict an error about the most ,very, important subject of the Nature of Jesus when viewed in the light of the Bible First I feel that it needs to be stated that regarding that above picture of rosary I’m keen about. For as a Protestant who has read the Bible and thus discovered that prayer beads aren’t nessasy for a man or woman to be a good Christian.
With that stated moving on to the prime,and principal topic of great importance that Jesus is God and therefore Islam is in major Biblical doctrinal error concerning nature of Jesus and is a false religion.
In the grand Old Testament of Isaiah in 45:22,23.” starting at the second sentence it reads ” I am God and there is no other…That to Me every knee shall bow . Every tongue shall taken an oath. He shall say ‘Surely in the Lord I have righteousness and strength…” [N.K.J.V.]
Moving on to the New Testament and comparing those above Isaiah verse with Philippians 2:10,11 the reader is informed that “That at the name of Jesus every shall bow , of those in heaven and of those on the under the earth and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory God the Father.”
So in those Old Testament reveal that to God “every knee shall bow..” and likewise those New Testament verses reveal that to Jesus “every knee shall bow…” This clearly shows that Jesus is God.
In Psalm 89:8,9. it reads “O Lord of host, Who is mighty like you , O Lord ? … You rule the raging ofthe sea ; when it’s waves rise you still them.” In Matthew 8:23-27 a terrible sea storm occurred and then rebuked the winds and the sea ,and there was a great clam. So the men marveled , saying ‘Who can this be , that even the winds and he sea obey him. ” By comparing what happened with those verses from that just quoted Psalm, the answer to the question asked by the disciples of Jesus is that He is God.
Furthermore the Bible in First Kings 8:89 teaches that “Only God Knows that thoughts of men” in the Gospel of Mark 2: reveals that Jesus knows the thoughts of men.”
In conclusion the Bible does reveal to that Jesus is God and that exposes Islam’s false teaching about Jesus and therefore islam is a false religion of demonic darkness.
As Isaiah 8:20 reads ” To the law and to the Testimony ! If they do not speak according to the word, it is because there is no light in them.”
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Kepha says
The full deity of Jesus Christ–and his full humanity–is a fundamental Christian doctrine that simply cannot be compromised. Thanks.
Thomas Hulting says
It’s ALL about TRUTH!
gregbeetham says
Fascinating story but be very careful if you live in Pakistan, apostasy is a death penalty there; I wish you the best of luck after your difficult journey.
And yes Islam is demonic in nature, the mystery that has always baffled me is that it is so obvious to an outsider but why isn’t it obvious to those on the inside when Muslims are so quick to become murderously enraged by anyone pointing out the violence and hate therein, which speaks for itself one would think.
mortimer says
AHMED ANWAR had a divine invitation to a divine appointment and he accepted it.
Graeme Howarth says
I want to make a comment but all that comes to me seems to be cliched.
This dear Muslim brother took the Bull by the horns and did not give up until he KNEW the truth.
As Jesus said “all who (truly) seek WILL find”.
And Jesus is still changing the lives of unrelentingly forceful men.
D Cripps says
Ahmed, many thanks for your detailed and fascinating story. I hope your curious and compassionate mind continues to bring you true blessings. I regret that, even in Britain (where it seems you live), you need to put on an “act” to keep yourself safe, and hope this difficult situation will not last for you.
Kayode Oyelekan says
Oh how wonderful the conversion of this man. Jehovah God rules the heart of men ad He saved this man from false religion. How I give glory to God in the highest. May the Lord convert more of Muslims in the mighty name of Jesus Christ Amen.