Would You Try Breast Milk Flavored Ice Cream? Now You Can.

Frida is a popular maker of products for pregnant women and the subsequent babies they fire out. They make a wide range of products—from Perineal Massage Wands for mom to a little straw you stick up a baby’s butt to help them fart.

Both are practical and useful, even though they are inherently funny and a bit strange. There was a gap in the market that they filled with these products. What the market did not need is a Frida-branded ice cream made of human breast milk.

The history of capitalism is littered with absurd products specifically designed to be written in articles like this one to capitalize on the shock and awe of releasing a wild and wacky version of a thing a company is known for. They’re called marketing stunts, and ice cream made from human breast milk certainly classifies as one of them.

Baby Product Company Is Making Breast Milk-Flavored Ice Cream

Of course, human breast milk ice cream does not exist to stand on its own. It exists in support of a different Frida product, a new type of manual breast pump. Do you see the connection here? Do you see the corporate synergy at play?

Gotta get people talking about human titty milk ice cream because there’s literally no other way we can move these breast pumps without it. They’ve got warehouses packed with breast pumps banking on the breast milk ice cream marketing stunt campaign to free them from their dusty confines.

Here’s the best part: The ice cream emulates the “sweet, creamy taste of breast milk” while containing no actual breast milk.

Alright.

Okay.

What the fuck.

What the fuck are we doing here?

It’s a marketing stunt centered around breast milk ice cream that itself does not contain breast milk and instead emulates the flavor of breast milk… which we can all assume is the flavor of milk.

Of course, a Delish article on the very same subject goes the extra mile by digging into the numbers and flavors of breast milk, like how, according to a website called BabyCenter.com, 70 percent of women have tried their own breast milk. And 29 percent of men have expressed interest in tasting breast milk.

The writer even dug through a Reddit thread to find people describing the flavor of breast milk in a variety of ways, from “milk left in a bowl of sugary cereal” to plain vanilla ice cream to sweet almond milk.

From this, I can gather that Frida has made ice cream.

Frida made regular vanilla ice cream.

The marketing stunt is regular vanilla ice cream.

According to Frida’s Instagram page, the ice cream won’t be ready for another nine months, and you have to go to their website to preorder it. Or you can go to the store right now and buy vanilla ice cream, tell yourself it’s breast milk, and then call it a day.